NotitiesHow to Be an Imperfectionist
Stephen Guise
"How to Be an Imperfectionist" van Stephen Guise moedigt lezers aan om imperfectie te omarmen in plaats van te streven naar perfectie. Het boek benadrukt het belang van kleine, consistente acties en het stellen van haalbare doelen om persoonlijke groei en tevredenheid te bevorderen, terwijl het de schadelijke effecten van perfectionisme bespreekt.
“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.” ~ Kim Collins (Location 49)
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how to embrace imperfection in your life. (Location 53)
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it keeps you from being yourself; it stresses you out; (Location 56)
force yourself to do (seemingly) too-small-to-matter positive behaviors, but ones you can do every day, even on your worst day. (Location 63)
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too-small-to-fail behavior you do every day. (Location 64)
write 50 words, (Location 66)
call one lead (Location 66)
choose an activity you can’t possibly fail to do, and do it until it becomes a habit and grows into something bigger. (Location 67)
The small goal only ensures that you start. (Location 69)
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later, I haven’t raised the targets on these because it isn’t necessary. I still read and write every day. (Location 77)
Small, consistent, incremental steps in a healthy direction bring big results. (Location 79)
learning to take small steps to move ahead in any situation that scares me. (Location 80)
no photo can capture the many internal shifts that take place when you practice mini habits for a year or two. (Location 84)
My acceptance of this “unimpressive” workout resulted in quality exercise despite the imperfect situation (Location 97)
The imperfectionist in me saw an opportunity for a little bit of forward progress, and I took it. (Location 99)
life is composed of these small decisions. (Location 100)
look back over your life, and think of all the thousands of little moments in which you had an opportunity to be doing something that could have added up to mastery in an area by now. (Location 101)
Mini habits are tools of the imperfectionist. (Location 104)
They are too small for a perfectionist to appreciate. But they are nonthreatening enough that a perfectionist might consider giving them a try. (Location 104)
Critical reviews highlight what people wished a book would have been or contained. (Location 107)
Any problem must be thoroughly understood before it can be fixed, (Location 112)
My aim with this book—as with everything I create—is to find the intersection of entertainment and education, practicality and imagination, and to, above all, create a guide that makes lasting change feasible. (Location 116)
enjoy the material without having to worry about remembering the solutions and wondering how to apply them to your life. (Location 123)
First, we understand and see the big picture, and then we transform that big-picture understanding into something applicable. (Location 126)
Implementation is the hardest part of personal growth, as we always have more on our wish list than we can obtain, (Location 142)
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” (Location 147)
a pure perfectionist is someone who is completely dysfunctional in the real world. (Location 154)
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Do you ever procrastinate? Perfectionism. Do you get depressed easily? (Likely) perfectionism. (Location 156)
perfectionism isn’t a permanent characteristic. We are capable of changing ourselves, but only with the right strategies. (Location 161)
people declare it as a flaw yet secretly take some pride in it? (Location 164)
Far from perfect, perfectionism is irrational, crippling, restrictive, and even lethal (e.g., anorexia and depression/suicide). (Location 168)
If you don’t manage to reframe perfectionism as a damaging and inferior mindset, the illusion of its superiority will thwart your desired changes. (Location 173)
Perfectionism causes other serious problems that are commonly diagnosed as something else. For example, it is a very common root cause of depression, which can then lead to a host of other problems such as addictions. (Location 174)
We’ve got to stop this secret affinity for perfectionism to be free of it. (Location 179)
Perfectionism is an imposter—a hoax; it’s the worst mindset you can pick out of a hat. Imperfectionism, however, is the real deal; it’s luxury… five stars… the best. (Location 179)
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“What’s the most logical thing to do with this information?” (Location 207)
Unrealistic expectations (my addition) Rumination (Hill) Need for approval (Hill) Concern over mistakes (Frost) Doubts about actions (Frost) (Location 210)
striving for excellence and organization, because they’re not problems and don’t need to be solved. (Location 212)
Perfect Context This type of perfectionism reduces the number of situations in which a person will take action. (Location 227)
Perfect Quality (Location 238)
People who have this kind of perfectionism are driven mad by their incessant desire for flawless quality. (Location 239)
Perfect Quantity Perfectionism by quantity means not being satisfied with an action if it falls below a number threshold. (Location 241)
Nearly everyone is unknowingly trained to be perfectionists by copying the goal size of the people around them. (Location 247)
These aren’t impossible goals, but they’re perfectionistic because they imply that smaller progress isn’t good enough. (Location 249)
anything less wasn’t enough. (Location 251)
This polarized view of goals is supposed to motivate us to reach the mark and maybe even surpass it, but it’s an inferior strategy that worsens the perfectionism problem. (Location 253)
We make the grave error of redefining partial success as “failure.” (Location 257)
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Perfectionists do not accept a small amount of value or progress; they only want big, smooth, perfect wins. (Location 259)
positive affirmation bias, which means they’ll assume good things about themselves before considering negative things. (Location 269)
I didn’t have to be insecure just because I had a highly visible flaw. (Location 274)
If you’re insecure about something, know that there is someone out there who is living confidently and living well in spite of it. (Location 276)
someone who has an inferiority complex reacts in one of two ways—they try hard to be perceived as superior (in reality or appearance), or they clam up. (Location 279)
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act like a threatened puffer fish (intimidate) or turtle (hide). (Location 282)
The less you think of yourself, the more likely you are to overcompensate. (Location 282)
The less you think of yourself, the harder you’ll be on yourself. (Location 284)
Insecurity and inferiority complexes alike make you hypersensitive to your flaws. (Location 286)
The only real security is knowing and accepting who you are right now. (Location 287)
To think yourself inferior to any person requires you to evaluate yourself or others unfairly: (Location 290)
inferiority complex is based on unfair standards and a warped view of humanity, (Location 293)
When you don’t like your life, your risk of perfectionism goes up considerably. (Location 294)
Those who are discontent are most likely to pretend they’re perfectly content. (Location 296)
Grades are used to gauge how well a student is learning; this isn’t an inherently bad idea, but it becomes one as the entire focus of school becomes getting those perfect “A”s. And while a “C” is supposed to represent an average grade, the perception for many students and parents is that “A”s are the only acceptable grade and anything less is disappointing. (Location 303)
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In addition, school teaches us that “‘A’ efforts” bring “‘A’ results.” Real life shows us that “‘A’ efforts” only give us a chance at “‘A’ results.” (Location 307)
Perfectionism is an excuse-generating machine. (Location 314)
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After setting a perfect standard, attempting to meet it seems futile. (Location 314)
if I feared that I couldn’t write well, I might then create an irrationally high standard for my writing to discourage myself from ever attempting to write—for (Location 315)
The perfectionist enjoys safety and protection from what they fear, and that—not striving for excellence—is the most common reason why people become perfectionists. (Location 317)
Most people aren’t as concerned with being praised as much as they are about preventing embarrassment. (Location 320)
“In truth,” she says, “what it does is keep us from being seen.” (Location 322)
Being seen and even embarrassed occasionally is an essential part of life. (Location 323)
Desire for greatness and fear of inadequacy are counterforces, (Location 324)
You can fantasize about greatness while remaining protected against embarrassment. Inaction, in this case, even appears to validate your great potential because desiring perfection implies that you have and can meet high standards (when you run out of excuses), but it only hides your potential from yourself and the world. (Location 325)
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If perfectionism were an iceberg, the small, visible tip would be a desire for excellence, and the submerged part, which reportedly comprises 90% of an iceberg’s mass, would be the fear of failure. (Location 328)
it’s not the literal consequences of failure that scare us; it’s the idea that we could fail at something we desire greatly. (Location 330)
We cling to perfectionism not because the cost of failure rises but because the importance of the reward rises. (Location 332)
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You might feel slightly worse and less confident because of rejection, but you’ll be no worse off in most cases. (Location 338)
Suddenly, this zero-risk attempt has thrown a knockout punch to your confidence and self-esteem! (Location 343)
We fear what failure means about who we are. (Location 344)
Perfectionism protects us against symbolic failure. (Location 346)
an individual instance of failure can be seen as symbolic of our standing in that area, even though, logically, it’s more of a chance-based result than a life-defining failure. (Location 348)
If you never attempt something, you can’t know empirically that you’re not world-class at it. (Location 350)
perfect fantasies (Location 351)
we’re not perfect at anything. So there’s not actually any mystery; it’s just the illusion of it. (Location 352)
It protects us from massively damaging our confidence and hopes. (Location 353)
do you want or need this type of protection? (Location 355)
Perfectionism significantly weakens us over time by making us overprotective against mistakes and failures that carry a short-term downside and a long-term upside. (Location 358)
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If you can withstand something undesirable AND it strengthens you, you’re far better off “unprotected” against it. (Location 360)
Overdriven perfectionists are never satisfied. It’s not just that they’re striving for better and better things, but that they’re never happy with what they have and what they or others have done. (Location 362)
Paralyzed perfectionists are those who let the fear of failure trap them into living a less meaningful life. (Location 364)
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overdriven (Location 366)
unrealistic expectations and rumination. (Location 366)
need for approval, (Location 368)
“Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing.” (Location 374)
perfectionism does more than make us feel bad; it harms us. (Location 378)
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The poison of perfectionism can remain undetected in smaller doses, subtly impairing your life; (Location 380)
perfectionism to be strongly linked to higher rates of depression and suicide,8 and that the risk has been underestimated. (Location 383)
A mindset’s merit is based on how it affects your actions and how you feel about those actions. (Location 388)
Normal perfectionists, he said, “feel free to be less precise as the situation permits,” (Location 394)
neurotic perfectionists “are unable to feel satisfaction because in their own eyes they never seem to do things good enough to warrant that feeling.” (Location 395)
Striving for excellence, on its own, is wholly good. High expectations are the problem. (Location 404)
“People defined as healthy perfectionists are never described as actually seeking perfection.” (Location 408)
striving for excellence is an important part of anyone’s journey to success. (Location 410)
“People call me a perfectionist, but I'm not. I'm a rightist. I do something until it's right, and then I move on to the next thing.” (Location 418)
“I’m not a perfectionist. I’m a person who strives for excellence and requires excellence. There is a difference.” (Location 420)
it’s always best to begin where things are, not where you wish they were. (Location 426)
If you’re a perfectionist of the paralyzed sort, it’s almost guaranteed that you watch a lot of TV. Perfectionists and procrastinators love TV because nobody watches TV incorrectly. It is completely passive, which makes it an automatic, simple, rewarding, and mistake-free “win.” (Location 430)
(perfectionism, not a lack of ideas, is the one and only cause of writer’s block), (Location 455)
Perfectionism turns up the intensity dial in your conscious brain to extreme levels, to the point that it interferes with subconscious operations; this can have a negative impact on creativity, focus, and subconscious-driven activities. (Location 457)
When trained in something to the point that it’s second nature (and subconscious), your conscious mind can relax, and a relaxed mind is more effective and useful than a tense mind because it can focus more easily. (Location 462)
perfectionists have a technique called “self-handicapping” (Location 466)
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allow for the possibility of success while discrediting their failures. (Location 467)
people purposefully handicap themselves—explicitly or mentally—to have an excuse on hand if things don’t work out. (Location 470)
We do this to protect ourselves. It seems nice, too, to have a chance of success but to say, “Well, my ankle was sore” if the attempt fails. It is riskier to accept the full consequences of an action. (Location 473)
it lets you put an asterisk beside your failures, but it’s also a hindrance to success. (Location 475)
life is too short to play it safe. (Location 483)
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To grow in an area, you must face increased risk, uncertainty, and discomfort. (Location 487)
It’s interesting to look at the most skilled people in various professions and think, She used to be terrible at this, and He used to be unskilled at that. (Location 496)
The road to excellence begins unimpressively. (Location 497)
We only self-handicap when we care. (Location 501)
Business and career success (e.g., putting in a halfhearted effort at work or slacking on your business, almost as if you’re “saving” (Location 505)
your best work for a special occasion or the right moment) (Location 506)
being emotionally distant, (Location 507)
pretending not to care, (Location 507)
not presenting your best self, (Location 508)
not exercising because you have a minor injury (Location 509)
Let’s be driven, passionate-for-life people who don’t hold back, (Location 510)
Perfectionism is clearly a problem, but it isn’t an immediate fix. It’s rooted in habit. (Location 512)
Our subconscious creates patterns of behavior—habits—that comprise roughly 45% of our lives (Location 514)
Perfect and adequate are not supposed to be equals. (Location 518)
If perfect is your version of adequate, then life won’t ever seem adequate, let alone good. (Location 519)
what must be understood is the habitual root that drives it. (Location 525)
Because perfectionism is a habitual way of perceiving the world, change must be approached neurologically, not with “you can do it” sentiments. (Location 526)
if your brain doesn’t change, neither do you. (Location 530)
transformation doesn’t happen quickly. (Location 537)
for a lasting change to occur, the brain must have enough repetition over time to form new neural pathways. If this doesn’t happen, your brain and behavior will revert to their old ways. (Location 537)
Emotions motivate us to take action, but the reverse is also true: emotions follow action. (Location 548)
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doing can cause feeling, (Location 549)
our actions greatly impact how we feel, and the effect is so powerful that it changes us even if we don’t want or mean for it to. (Location 556)
People like to say that love is an action and not an emotion, but it’s really both, and they tend to “self-align” with each other. (Location 557)
starting with action is the best strategy. (Location 559)
“Two minutes led to these hormonal changes that configure your brain to basically be either assertive, confident, and comfortable, or really stress-reactive and feeling kind of shut down.” 23 (Location 567)
emotional change was almost twice as likely to be caused by actions the study participants had taken as opposed to thoughts. (Location 571)
Thinking is the standard way people try to change their feelings in the “get motivated” strategy. (Location 574)
They won’t try action until they’re in a mental and emotional state in which action is attractive to them. (Location 575)
Another problem: Thoughts are tainted by the very emotions they’re attempting to eradicate, (Location 576)
it’s much easier to generate motivation by acting first. (Location 579)
action itself is the best starting point for more action, while trying to think your way into more motivation is an unreliable and ineffective way to create forward momentum. (Location 583)
the “get motivated” strategy assumes that you’ll always want to get motivated. (Location 584)
What could possibly be a strength to build from when you’re unmotivated to take action? (Location 587)
you can create a position of strength by using a negligible amount of willpower to take one small step forward or to complete a “mini goal.” (Location 588)
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Did you know that it’s possible to be motivated to write a book but not be motivated to write in your book? (Location 594)
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The type of motivation we don’t need is the type that fluctuates. (Location 597)
people use their reason to do something as their emotional spark to feel like doing it. (Location 600)
To rely on the connection between your reason to do something and your current desire to do something means that when you don’t feel it, you must think about why (Location 602)
action creates a more powerful and reliable emotional response in us than thoughts do. (Location 607)
When you treat how you feel as the deciding factor of what you do, you will be a slave to it. (Location 611)
People who have successfully changed their lives have figured out that when you start doing something, your emotions follow suit. (Location 617)
Never forget this: It’s easier to change your mind and emotions by taking action than it is to change your actions by trying to think and feel differently. (Location 618)
people were notably less emotional about habitual behavior than non-habitual behavior. (Location 621)
Repetition is how we learn, but as newness fades, so do our emotions toward it. (Location 624)
habits decrease emotion. (Location 625)
having a reliable starting strategy is what enables us to keep going with our desired changes. (Location 631)
targeted solutions. (Location 633)
You need to know what behaviors lead to (Location 634)
Sustainability tends to be the more difficult part of the equation because solutions are usually obvious: (Location 634)
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perfectionism is so abstract and complex that targeted solutions are not immediately obvious. (Location 636)
”No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everyone on the couch.” (Location 643)
Perfectionism is the artificial construct that constricts, rigidifies, and conforms behavior to an unreasonable standard. (Location 647)
Imperfectionism is NOT laziness, low standards, contentment with failure, disinterest in excellence and improvement, or apathy. (Location 648)
It’s prioritizing doing over doing well. (Location 650)
it only takes away the crippling fear of not doing well. (Location 650)
having lower standards does not equate to getting worse results. (Location 652)
Embracing imperfection will bring you closer to perfection than a perfectionist mindset will. (Location 653)
If you frame imperfection as a necessary evil, it’s not going to help you very much. (Location 655)
Perfectionism doesn’t work because it’s based on the (ironically) flawed notion that great things happen all at once on the first try. (Location 661)
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The primary benefits of becoming an imperfectionist are reduced stress and greater results by taking positive action in more situations. (Location 662)
It’s only by moving forward (Location 665)
What would life be like if you fully accepted your insecurities, weaknesses, and mistakes? (Location 667)
If you can visualize it, you can see the wild appeal of it: (Location 668)
this version of you is carefree. (Location 670)
It’s almost annoying how much this version of you doesn’t care about being judged, (Location 670)
Imperfectionists are the ones who are obviously flawed but have the audacity to be active and confident anyway. (Location 675)
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when we (Location 699)
try to appear perfect, the opposite effect is often achieved. (Location 699)
Overcompensation is a psychological indicator of hiding something. (Location 708)
Sincerely communicating effort over perfection makes us more relatable. (Location 710)
“try and see what happens.” (Location 712)
Humility is a psychological indicator in the reverse way of the snake oil salesman: (Location 718)
If you want to be more likable, don’t try to appear flawless. Be open about your weaknesses, and don’t put up a front. (Location 720)
Imperfect thoughts and ideas Imperfect decision Imperfect action Imperfect adaptation Imperfect but successful result (Location 724)
the reality of the situation is often 10 times better than a fearful perfectionist projection. (Location 735)
once you’re in the situation, the flaws won’t seem like a big deal. (Location 736)
Instead of quitting, I’ll adapt based on what I’ve learned. (Location 739)
In the struggle and process of creating a blog that matters, I became a more skilled writer, marketer, researcher, strategist, and editor. (Location 744)
Pivot point: perfectionism and imperfectionism are determined by what you care about. (Location 763)
Care less about results. Care more about putting in the work. (Location 765)
Care less about problems. Care more about making progress despite them. (Location 766)
focus on the solution. (Location 766)
Care less about what other people think. (Location 767)
Care more about who you want to be and what you want to do. (Location 767)
Care less about doing it right. Care more about doing it at all. Care less about failure. Care more about success. (Location 768)
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Care less about timing. Care more about the task. (Location 769)
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not care so much about conditions or results, and care more about what you can do right now (Location 770)
when people forbid themselves or attempt to rid their mind of something, it boomerangs back to them with alarming consistency and persistency. (Location 777)
Telling people to stop caring in general is dangerous advice, but if that apathy is in the right place, it can be life-changing in the best way. (Location 788)
While relaxed, it means you have no major concerns or distractions, and your mind is clear and primed to focus. (Location 796)
Perfectionism creates feelings of guilt, anxiety, inferiority, low self-esteem, and irritability. Imperfectionism creates feelings of satisfaction, happiness, joy, calm, and a healthy sense of self-worth. (Location 807)
Our emotions are largely derived from our expectations. (Location 810)
Expectations are essentially weaker versions of self-goals, (Location 814)
For greater optimism, instead of targeting your feelings directly, a more effective strategy is to change what causes those feelings. (Location 817)
it’s best to target your expectations if you wish to change your feelings about something since they’re a precursor. (Location 820)
Expectations are not tangible and inherently meaningful. They’re floating meters that tell us how things should be. (Location 821)
The level to which we are disappointed or elated is proportional to what we initially expected. (Location 824)
it’s best to have high general expectations (for confidence) and low specific expectations (for resilience and confidence). (Location 830)
Having lower general expectations is a problem not because it forms a ceiling you can’t surpass but because you won’t try to surpass it. (Location 834)
In this new scenario, the person’s general expectations are positive, meaning they have confidence that good things will generally happen in their life. But their specific expectations for socialization are low. By this, I mean they understand that a large number of imperfect happenings are likely to occur in life, and they accept that any given event could go poorly. (Location 848)
At the end of a night filled with imperfections, this person has had a wonderful time, and their general expectations have increased further. (Location 853)
Having low or no expectations for individual events gives you confidence because problems and mistakes won’t shock you. (Location 856)
How ironic is it that the person who expects more from social interactions is the one who contributes and receives less? (Location 858)
When you expect a lot in any specific instance and fall short of it, it damages your confidence and outlook. (Location 865)
Perfectionists often have a strong “never enough” bias. (Location 873)
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Contentment isn’t passivity. It’s the highest-quality setup for personal growth: a mind clear of distractions and a pure no-strings-attached desire to do something that matters to yourself and to the world. (Location 875)
We get stuck when we feel like life is never enough: there’s not enough time in the day; we didn’t get enough sleep; we didn’t do enough this morning; there’s not enough money; or we’re not good enough for [unlimited reasons]. (Location 877)
You can be content even in harsh circumstances by focusing on what’s right with your life. (Location 880)
Let today be the day that you choose to have enough, and enjoy the freedom and joy that follows. (Location 883)
No matter how much is done, perfectionists won’t allow themselves to feel a sense of contentment and satisfaction. (Location 890)
The difference between these two is that “not quite enough” has an implied end. (Location 894)
“Never enough” is rooted in general discontent, malaise, and hopelessness. (Location 897)
“Not quite enough” sources from excitement, empowerment, joy, and yes, even contentment. It suggests that a person’s needs may already be somewhat satisfied, but they want more, and with more effort, even greater satisfaction can be within reach. (Location 900)
If you fail to establish what is enough, you’ll inherit the “never enough” mindset. (Location 906)
Even if it’s an abstract thing, such as writing a quality book, it’s possible to set some realistic benchmarks for what you’d like the book to become. (Location 907)
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When you decide that pulling one weed in your garden per day is enough, you’ll soon find yourself saying it’s “not quite enough” and pull a few more. (Location 909)
Perfectionists with unrealistic expectations look for perfect scenarios to take action. (Location 911)
Those people don’t write much. (Location 915)
When this philosophy spreads over one’s life like full butter coverage on a piece of toast, it’s suffocating. (Location 916)
You miss out on too many opportunities when you wait for the perfect scenario to line up, so here’s how to change: (Location 918)
Whatever you want to do more of in life—exercise, write, read, swim, dance, sing, laugh, and so on—lower the bar for doing it. If you are willing to do it in the sewer, you will never fail to do it again. (Location 918)
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Because I normalized exercise, I now go to the gym several days a week! (Location 923)
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If something is important to you, it should be your goal to make it casual—not special—because (Location 924)
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Anything you do habitually is not a special occasion and can even be boring. (Location 925)
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behavior has to become “normal” to stick, (Location 927)
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Extrapolate this concept over an entire day, and it gives you many more opportunities to make progress. (Location 931)
Setting a low bar for action also switches your focus to the process of lasting change. (Location 932)
The newfound freedom from setting lower bars for action gives you the all-important sense of autonomy that is inherently lacking in most self-help advice. Over time, you’ll realize that you can do more with freedom and confidence than you ever could with high-pressure goals and lofty expectations. (Location 934)
Another way to phrase “unrealistic expectations” is “thinking too much about results.” (Location 936)
“result apathy” is the ironic path to incredible results. (Location 938)
There’s no skipping the process just because you really want something. (Location 940)
when you care less about any result of a process, it makes the process itself easier. (Location 940)
Result apathy is this: “I am going to do my best and not care how it turns out.” (Location 942)
The common misconception that trips people up is that they don’t know how to try hard without caring about results; (Location 944)
you can let go of your need for results, perform better, and still get those results! (Location 946)
Perfectionists use their desire for positive results to motivate them to go through the process. Imperfectionists focus on the process and let the results take care of themselves. (Location 947)
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See how imperfectionists are more efficient? They go straight to the process instead of using it as a means to an end. (Location 948)
Not only is focusing on results unnecessary to drive effort, but it is also a direct cause or contributing factor of some forms of perfectionism (Location 950)
Deliver a better speech by not caring about mistakes or imperfect delivery (Location 955)
(let them be and don’t fight them) (Location 957)
Improve your productivity by caring less about how much (or what quality of) work you get done (Location 958)
If you aim for answering one email, that’s not an impressive result, but it starts off the process of answering emails and forming this habit. (Location 960)
Processes aren’t just for results; they help us overcome poor circumstances too. (Location 961)
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Responding to Harsh Circumstances Circumstances are another aspect of unrealistic expectations because you may find yourself in situations you don’t expect or feel prepared to face. When circumstances are bleak and you don’t know how to handle them, this can cause anything from depression to hopelessness to laziness. (Location 962)
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No matter what you try to do in life, resistance will come. The difficulty will rise to uncomfortable levels. Circumstances and results will be undesirable. (Location 975)
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focus on the process of surviving in a situation in which so many of us would succumb to dire circumstances. (Location 978)
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Navy SEALs are mentally special because they keep their mind on the process even in hell-on-earth situations. (Location 982)
A procedural thinker on a mission who realizes “I’m tired” will snap right back to the process of their mission. (Location 985)
circumstantial thinkers are more drawn to problems than solutions. (Location 986)
Everything has a process: (Location 988)
the best move is to determine and execute the next step. (Location 996)
He prioritized his needs and gave himself missions. (Location 1000)
Nearly all nonideal circumstances have a process that can lead you out of them. (Location 1004)
The procedural thinker doesn’t focus on exercise yet because that’s not where the process begins. (Location 1010)
Difficult processes become easier with “one step at a time” thinking; they are made nearly impossible by looking ahead. (Location 1011)
Focus on the process. It’s the single best way to change your circumstances. (Location 1014)
When you focus on the process, you haven’t just lowered expectations, you’ve bypassed them altogether. (Location 1023)
Rumination is a form of perfectionism in which a person focuses obsessively on their problems and/or the events that caused them. (Location 1031)
socially-prescribed perfectionism, which is wanting to be seen in a perfect light by others. (Location 1032)
Life is like this second style of auto scrolling, in that if you don’t continue to move forward (like if you’re ruminating about the past), you’re going to face trouble. (Location 1046)
Non-fixable Rumination? Acceptance Is Imperative (Location 1048)
The only healthy response to a sunken cost—no matter how devastating it may be—is to accept it. (Location 1049)
At some point, we must realize that no amount of guilt, remorse, and rumination can change what has already happened. (Location 1053)
It’s never disrespectful (to those you’ve hurt) to move on with your life, (Location 1056)
Rumination is a desperate, futile attempt to change the past by thinking about it. (Location 1057)
You’re allowed to make mistakes—even horrific ones—because you’re human. (Location 1060)
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After you accept what is, you’re free to look for what could be. (Location 1069)
You may have to live it before you feel it. (Location 1070)
Almost all things people ruminate about are solvable problems. (Location 1074)
I can continue this chain until I write a sentence that I accept; (Location 1077)
this, I’m making the present moment productive rather than fixating on my poorly written past. (Location 1077)
The fix is to continue to try, practice, and improve, (Location 1079)
The core solution for rumination is taking action to get your mind to a better place. (Location 1081)
Most of us, however, think of failure as a performance-based mistake or shortcoming of our own doing. (Location 1088)
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We make this mistake too. We often fail to consider instances of failure in the context of statistics. (Location 1096)
This explains why persistence is chance’s best friend, because if you continue to try a chance-based venture, you will probably succeed in time. (Location 1107)
if something unfortunate happens, but it was chance-related, you have no right (let alone reason) to feel like you personally failed. This (Location 1113)
Failure is trying to pursue a goal that’s bigger than your current willpower capacity. (Location 1119)
Unlike chance, failure is a fully predictable result. (Location 1120)
Failure is really nice. I mean it. It’s even more comforting than chance because it’s easier to interpret. (Location 1121)
There can be some overlap between chance and failure, because if you take a chance with the wrong strategy, you’ll probably fail each time. (Location 1123)
so if a person turns you down for something, ask why. (Location 1124)
When something is chance based, be stubbornly persistent. (Location 1130)
When something fails, try a different approach. (Location 1133)
When you suspect a negative result comes from a combination of chance and failure, be persistent, but try varying strategies to the degree that you think it’s failure. (Location 1135)
“Should” is a dangerous word because when used in reference to the past (“should have”), it implies that something was done incorrectly and should have been done differently. It suggests some amount of regret. (Location 1148)
Ruminators commonly think about what they should have done differently when looking back on an event or sequence of events, often ignoring the positive things they did. (Location 1150)
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The context and tone of your self-talk reveals a lot about your self-relationship. (Location 1153)
“seek first to understand, then to be understood.” (Location 1167)
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Admit you’re a flawed person. (Location 1169)
Once you’ve fully understood your “prior self” in that moment, you will not judge your actions as harshly (Location 1170)
A great substitute for “should have ___” is “could have ___.” (Location 1179)
Ruminators’ big problem is not getting back out there: (Location 1194)
Rumination can become a habitual response that gets worse over time; (Location 1201)
When you need to get started on a task, but motivation is low and you’re stalling, run a countdown timer. (Location 1212)
pinpoint the first very small action you can take to move forward. (Location 1213)
When you can start “anytime,” you’ll often choose to procrastinate. (Location 1216)
Make sure you give yourself enough time to deliberate over your options—but not too much time. I’ve found the sweet spot for me to be three- to 10-minute countdowns, depending on the complexity of the decision. (Location 1222)
The Focus Timer: For X minutes, you must focus on one task of choice (with strict rules for distractions). When I do this, I often exceed my target time because I’ll become absorbed in the task. (Location 1223)
Set a rule that you can’t switch to another program for any reason until time runs out. (Location 1226)
If it seems too hard to focus completely on one thing for very long, you simply need practice. Set your goal for five minutes of focus and work your way up to a more substantial amount of time. (Location 1229)
The Work and Play Carousel: Work for an hour, relax for an hour. Repeat. (Location 1240)
Time spent working is an incomplete measure of productivity. (Location 1246)
Parkinson’s Law states that work contracts or expands to fill the time you allot for it. (Location 1249)
consider the increased energy you’ll have from being well rested, which can be utilized for better focus and higher work intensity. (Location 1251)
Simple kitchen timer (Location 1257)
Accept the past as unchangeable. (Location 1270)
Tags: favorite
If it’s performance-related rumination, identify it as chance or failure. (Location 1272)
Monitor your self-talk. (Location 1274)
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Be active. (Location 1277)
People who lack confidence tend to seek permission for their actions. (Location 1303)
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rebellion practice, (Location 1307)
You can’t transform your confidence by thinking about it. (Location 1311)
Submissive poses—which were found to have the opposite (negative) effect of increasing cortisol and lowering testosterone—are marked by making yourself smaller: curling up in a ball, crossing your arms or legs, and slouching. (Location 1319)
open up your chest and take up space (Location 1323)
suspending your self-doubt for a moment to allow yourself to think and act like a confident person. (Location 1325)
Create a confident persona in your mind, pretend you’re that person, and then act it out. (Location 1328)
3. Adjusting Your Benchmark (Location 1331)
confidence is always relative to something. (Location 1332)
As self-focused beings, we tend to take too much credit for things when in fact we’re more predictable than our environment is. (Location 1336)
Most people focus on their confidence internally and don’t see the relativity. (Location 1337)
Imperfectionists are the most confident people in the world, and it’s not because they’re intrinsically superior. Imperfectionists are masters of customizing their benchmark to fit them. (Location 1340)
Your confidence in your foot speed depends on what relative benchmarks you consider to be adequate, poor, or remarkable. (Location 1347)
“Where is my benchmark set?” (Location 1349)
I suspect that many of us use the “average person” model to determine our confidence. (Location 1356)
Every confidence benchmark is arbitrary, so we may as well create our own. (Location 1363)
The only stable confidence is what you define and customize for yourself. (Location 1364)
The key to building powerful confidence is to decide specifically what you can be confident about right now, and build from there. (Location 1369)
“Enough” is one of the most anti-perfectionist concepts in the world. (Location 1383)
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When you set a benchmark you can confidently reach every time, you can’t care what happens after you meet it. (Location 1384)
Allow yourself the feeling of success for meeting your benchmark, because you’re creating a foundation for confidence. (Location 1386)
The bonus effect of this is that you’ll be more likely to overachieve after you meet that benchmark. (Location 1387)
First, you must be able to do something. Then you can do it confidently. (Location 1389)
I was only confident in my ability to do it, not in my ability to do it confidently. (Location 1390)
Doing something with confidence requires practice because confidence is comfort. (Location 1393)
Like all forms of perfectionism, needing permission threatens our freedom. (Location 1398)
Confident people don’t ask for permission. (Location 1407)
It’s best not to worry about it; if you want to do it and have a good reason to do it, do it. (Location 1410)
An instance of rejection should never be seen as predictive for all future instances. (Location 1412)
This means that when you remove the feeling of embarrassment, there is no longer a problem. (Location 1418)
it’s okay to alienate some people if that’s what it takes to live life on your terms (and it often does). (Location 1419)
It’s very desirable to have a desensitized embarrassment reflex, because it brings you freedom. (Location 1424)
A perfectionist can only overcome perfectionism by practicing imperfect action. (Location 1428)
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The logical way to overcome the need for approval is to do things that others don’t approve of. (Location 1435)
You can rebel against peer pressure. (Location 1440)
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they try to live in the way that will draw the least amount of criticism from others. (Location 1442)
Don’t confuse rebellion with being a jerk or being insensitive. (Location 1447)
Needing approval is a violation of your identity. (Location 1451)
those who need approval don’t know who they are. (Location 1451)
Your plan of rebellion needs to match your current need for approval. (Location 1459)
you weigh your relationship with the person to the activity or activities that their influence keeps you from. (Location 1466)
Pose confidently in public. (Location 1475)
Sing in public. (Location 1477)
Lie down in public for 30 seconds. (Location 1481)
public push-ups. (Location 1486)
Talk to strangers. (Location 1488)
small talk with strangers makes us happier. (Location 1490)
Walk in slow motion. (Location 1495)
There’s a pressure to conform. Always. This makes us all more susceptible to perfectionist tendencies. (Location 1499)
The problem arises when your need for approval expands to everyone you come into contact with, (Location 1503)
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Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. (Location 1514)
the girl who won made more mistakes than any of the girls who lost. (Location 1527)
Too often, we assume that making a mistake means that we automatically lose, but usually it’s just that they discourage us into a mindset that makes us lose. (Location 1529)
Winning isn’t the result of tripping in the middle of a race, of course, but it is very often the result of persevering through mistakes. (Location 1533)
home teams are worse at free throws in clutch situations, but better at offensive rebounding. (Location 1541)
failing to get an offensive rebound is not seen as a mistake so much as a missed opportunity. (Location 1546)
Concerning yourself over making mistakes increases your anxiety and fear of action. (Location 1548)
“Few activities are engaged in where the perfectionist is not assured of performing excellently.” (Location 1553)
Impostor Syndrome is when someone is outwardly successful, but inwardly, they “experience secret intense feelings of fraudulence in achievement situations.” (Location 1557)
“impostors” of this definition were more sensitive to mistakes and had more anxiety associated with such mistakes (Location 1560)
Impostor Syndrome doesn’t mean that you’re an impostor—it only means you feel like one. (Location 1561)
Some of the most successful people have Impostor Syndrome because of their success. (Location 1562)
Einstein’s “perfect image” wasn’t created by him, but bestowed upon him by society; seeing himself through the public’s eye made him feel uncomfortable. This is often how it begins. (Location 1566)
This unrealistic image makes people feel like impostors and causes them to fear that making a mistake will show the world the truth. (Location 1568)
Think about the labels and titles that society has placed on you, implicitly or explicitly, and how they have affected your belief of how you measure up. (Location 1569)
It’s only when we think we’re required to be perfect that what we do seems trite. (Location 1575)
Impostors gauge what they think others’ standards are in a particular area (but they tend to overestimate them), and they feel inadequate in comparison. (Location 1581)
conceal their imperfection by not engaging in situations when they were likely to reveal their personal limitations to others. (Location 1582)
perfectionists, who are highly self-conscious and have a strong desire to conceal their mistakes from others in order to appear perfect (Location 1584)
human accomplishments are only impressive because we are all flawed (Location 1586)
most people don’t care what you do. (Location 1588)
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” (Location 1588)
The difference is your focal point, which anchors your perspective: (Location 1590)
Imperfectionists see and accept themselves as imperfect, which makes any and all success seem great. Perfectionists strive for their perfect ideal image, which makes any and all success seem like trash. (Location 1591)
focus on the real you. The one with flaws. Forget your “image.” (Location 1594)
embrace your flaws as friends (Location 1596)
fail to internalize their success (Location 1599)
There are people who feel like impostors just for being loved. (Location 1600)
the best way to combat Impostor Syndrome is to internalize your successes by writing them down. (Location 1603)
whenever you feel like an impostor, consult your ongoing achievement list. (Location 1606)
Continue to add to your list as you reach new heights. (Location 1608)
(include the date of the accomplishment to get a picture of your life’s trajectory). (Location 1609)
Little to no fear of making mistakes is a trait of “doers,” (Location 1615)
Those who have stronger fear than desire have a difficult time taking actions to improve their lives. (Location 1617)
The big question is whether we should try to lower our fear, increase our desire, or both, in order to make this equation work in our favor. (Location 1621)
The logical solution in most cases is to remove the barrier. (Location 1626)
Let’s not treat fear casually. Let’s respect our fear as a warrior respects a worthy enemy. (Location 1627)
the focus here is on if you’ve done the task, not how well you’ve done it. (Location 1651)
the way we perceive tasks is a choice (Location 1657)
in trying to meet all of these fancy requirements, you might actually fail to flip the switch! (Location 1662)
what if you decided that getting up on the stage and talking qualified as success? (Location 1665)
the wonderful thing about binary tasks is that they can be accomplished perfectly. (Location 1668)
redefine what perfection means to you. (Location 1671)
It’s not irrational to see giving a speech in front of 5,000 people as a perfect success. (Location 1672)
Binary simplifies the aim for perfection into something concrete and possible. (Location 1677)
a benchmark adjustment is for improving confidence and the binary mindset is for reducing fear. (Location 1685)
For the test itself, a “do your best and fill in every answer” attitude is the winning approach. (Location 1713)
Often the reason we get flustered is because of the innumerable variables to consider and what may go wrong (analog thinking). (Location 1728)
These are all unknowable details, and that’s why they truly don’t matter when it comes to taking action. (Location 1730)
take action to figure things out in real time by using the binary mindset. (Location 1731)
While not all mistakes feel the same, our response to them should be the same—learn and keep moving. (Location 1739)
perfectionists’ fear causes them to drown in complexity. (Location 1742)
Procrastination is not caused by laziness but by a combination of fear and overcomplicated objectives, which come from a perfectionistic mindset. (Location 1745)
Excuses rarely mean something is impossible, they mean it’s not ideal. (Location 1750)
Binary focuses on facts—did it happen or not? (Location 1752)
Always choose binary, and through learning and practice, you’ll get the desired results without worrying about them. (Location 1753)
those who simplify and make success easier than failure are those who get into “success cycles.” (Location 1757)
making success easier (Location 1760)
The secret to consistent success that compounds over time is to combine small goals with the binary mindset: (Location 1769)
The rich get richer; the lazy get lazier; the confident get more confident; the fit get fitter; and the fat get fatter. (Location 1771)
Make success easier than failure, and you’ll succeed. (Location 1776)
Redefine Success as Progress (Modular Success) (Location 1776)
The challenge in changing from perfectionist to imperfectionist is doing it in a way that doesn’t feel like you’re lowering your standards, (Location 1777)
What if you always made forward progress every day? (Location 1781)
Even small or flawed progress gets significant very quickly when you’re consistent. (Location 1782)
If an action—however small or flawed—helps you, then it’s good. (Location 1787)
the fuel of self-encouragement accomplished through a smart action strategy can last a lifetime. (Location 1793)
It isn’t lowering your standards, it’s redefining success as progress and raising your standards for consistency. (Location 1796)
once you start, you will likely get hooked on the feeling of consistent daily success. (Location 1798)
it’s not human nature to stop after a taste of success. (Location 1804)
Autonomy means that you have control over your decisions and they mean something to you. (Location 1812)
When you set a lofty goal, you cede control to your goal and lose autonomy. (Location 1813)
You bow to the goal as your new master. (Location 1813)
Redefine success as progress, and success will become modular. (Location 1819)
The defining trait of the subconscious mind is that it does not like change, and it will try to influence our conscious thinking into agreeing with that stance; (Location 1831)
When a perfectionist projects, there’s big trouble, because their projections tend to be more unrealistic in the opposite direction of their perfect ideal. (Location 1835)
The problem with projection is that it’s theoretical. (Location 1838)
If you make an assumption like “I could never [insert dream job here] for a living,” you won’t ever try it. (Location 1850)
Most pursuits are chance-heavy and require multiple attempts to get right, so quitting after one negative result isn’t justified just because you’ve experienced it. (Location 1852)
For the biggest impact, write down projections as you make them. (Location 1855)
Areas of resistance have the greatest potential for projection, because when you feel resistance, it means your subconscious wants something else, and it will project a biased outcome to plant a seed of doubt in your mind and get its way. (Location 1859)
Procrastination’s most useful definition is: failure to enter the implemental phase. (Location 1873)
If you can commit to one task, your thinking switches to the implemental phase and you’ll take action. (Location 1877)
rational analysis is functionally useless unless one can act based on the outcome of the analysis. (Location 1881)
the root issue is that procrastinators fail to commit to a single course of (valuable) action. (Location 1884)
Perfectionism and fear are happily married. (Location 1889)
As the most important tasks to us are automatically the scariest ones, fear drives us to choose zero-risk and unimportant “filler” activities (Location 1890)
Many people use perfectionism as an excuse; they wear it as a mask to disguise their fear. (Location 1893)
The pseudo-benefit of procrastination (i.e., staying in the deliberative mindset) is that it maintains the illusion of perfection. (Location 1896)
Even though we all know it takes hard, “unpretty” work to do something meaningful, the perfection fantasy about our work and our lives can still persist because it’s an emotional desire (not a logical one). (Location 1901)
One way to learn how to do something better is to observe someone who already does it well. (Location 1905)
Bond adapts and conquers. (Location 1911)
if you’re going to be a true imperfectionist, adaptation is your weapon of choice! (Location 1911)
If you’re willing to make imperfect decisions and take imperfect action in imperfect conditions, you will conquer procrastination. (Location 1914)
“I know this won’t go perfectly, but it will go.” (Location 1916)
But when you make a mistake that doesn’t permanently harm you, it helps you. (Location 1952)
the poor choices he made were the best choices. And the same can be true in real life. (Location 1953)
“Continued pleasures wear off; continued hardships lose their poignancy.”47 (Location 1957)
If you let any doubt stop you from acting, you will avoid living a meaningful life. (Location 1958)
Making faster decisions is one of the most underrated skills of mankind. (Location 1962)
If you hesitate to move to implementation even briefly, you may loop back to deliberation and get lost in the details of complex variables. Even worse, this can become habitual. (Location 1969)
you can develop the habit of having a quick trigger finger. (Location 1971)
Implementation means action, and action means learning and progress, which lead to success. (Location 1972)
the line at which further contemplation does not benefit us anymore. (Location 1974)
The second you understand there is a bigger benefit and less downside to doing something, do it. (Location 1975)
think of it is turning your brain off. (Location 1981)
Vague Feelings of Risk (Are Usually Wrong) (Location 1982)
we (habitually) assume that, because our brains are amazing analytical machines, we should use them for every … little … tiny … decision. (Location 1988)
If it's between dozens of things you could do with your free time, choose one of your good ideas and be happy about it. (Location 1993)
Embrace imperfection Consider the true risk and consequences of doing the wrong thing (it's almost always zero, which removes pressure to “choose right”) Simplify your thinking to stop overanalyzing each option. If activity = good, then do it. This level of thinking is caveman simple, but it's effective. (Location 1995)
While you have a clear objective that you must get done by a certain date, you still don't have a clear starting point, (Location 2002)
The moment you think it might be a decent time to start working on it, do it (Location 2006)
With enough practice, this will become the new way of doing things. (Location 2007)
people who have the quick-decision habit are seen as fearless and confident. (Location 2007)
Faster decisions are made easier when combined with lowering your standard for taking action, (Location 2008)
A great, actionable trick to cut down on inefficient deliberation is the two-minute rule. (Location 2013)
Do any of your mini habits. (Location 2019)
1. Be mindful of true risk. 2. Always be looking to terminate the deliberation phase ASAP with a commitment to one task (this is aided by low action standards and looking for a “good” choice instead of “the guaranteed best” choice). 3. Follow the two-minute rule to eliminate worthless overanalysis. 4. Practice the above, and you'll be well on your way to breaking your procrastination habit by making faster decisions and taking action! (Location 2020)
Doubt causes a desire for more information. (Location 2024)
delaying a decision is never the right choice. (Location 2029)
even if you need more information to decide, you can decide in that moment to seek new information. (Location 2029)
My preferred solution is to start and see what happens. (Location 2034)
Confidence is going into an unknown situation and believing that you’ll come out of it alright. (Location 2040)
It’s trusting yourself, not to always make perfect decisions, but to be able to adapt to changing circumstances as needed. (Location 2041)
The most successful people (however you wish to define success) are not the ones who get it right the first time. (Location 2059)
Go for Quantity, then Refine (Location 2066)
quantity is the path to quality. When you can refine something over many attempts, improving it more with each iteration, you’re bound to have greater success than if you meticulously planned out the perfect first try. (Location 2068)
Imperfectionists aim for quantity: they’ll accept a rough first try; (Location 2073)
Veteran writers know that the way to write great content is to keep writing and refining. (Location 2076)
Focusing on quantity (not quality) of repetitions over time leads to consistency, which leads to habit formation, which is the heart of personal growth. When you engage in this process and a behavior becomes habitual, your subconscious will prefer it instead of resist it. (Location 2084)
We need long-lasting habits to win, not short-lived motivational bursts. (Location 2086)
dreaming big does not mean you have to aim big. (Location 2088)
It was only when I let go of my perfect, big goals that my dreams started coming true in the areas of fitness, writing, and reading. (Location 2089)
even the worst detours have value. (Location 2109)
the worst choice is inaction. (Location 2111)
Never use guilt as motivation. (Location 2130)
individual occurrences of perfectionism (and its subsets) don’t matter—your response to them matters. (Location 2138)
For one minute each day, reflect on and imagine caring about what the list below describes. Don’t care about results. Care about putting in the work. Don’t care about problems. Care about making progress despite them. Or if you must fix something, focus on the solution. Don’t care what other people think. Care about who you want to be and what you want to do. Care less about doing it right. Care more about doing it at all. Don’t care about failure. Care about success. Don’t care about timing. Care about the task. (Location 2140)
For one minute each day, consider the imperfectionist process in terms of your plans that day. (Location 2146)
one or more key goals you have for the day (Location 2147)
After you’ve exercised, after you’ve pulled weeds in the garden, or after you’ve written a few pages of your novel, you’ve done something to be proud of, and it doesn’t matter if the process wasn’t impressive! (Location 2155)
For one minute, check your expectations. (Location 2158)
Choose to have high general expectations and low to no specific expectations. (Location 2158)
Try to be optimistic in general, but don’t tie your hopes to any situation—this helps you be flexible when confronting imperfections. (Location 2165)
Decide what’s “enough” action: (Location 2166)
spend a minute per day practicing contentment with what you have. (Location 2168)
The problem of perfectionism is not the aspect of striving for excellence, but striving for impossible standards that you didn’t personally set. (Location 2174)
If you’re aiming for impossible, it’s because you think someone is watching over your shoulder. (Location 2175)
no action is too small or imperfect to be insignificant. (Location 2179)
This works on your expectations on a deeper level because it eventually rewires your subconscious to accept smaller bits of progress and success. (Location 2179)
come up with one idea to lower the bar for action in an important area of your choice each day depending on your circumstances (Location 2182)
generating ideas that you might execute later. (Location 2185)
Look at your day ahead, pick your most daunting challenge, and break it down into a process you can follow. (Location 2186)
Focus on the process and stop caring about results. (Location 2188)
focusing on the process guarantees better results, (Location 2190)
Take action directly against your rumination (preferably with a related mini habit). (Location 2196)
One of the best ways to change your mind about something is to act according to the change you wish to make. (Location 2200)
Habits are an effective way to avoid being crippled by catastrophes. (Location 2210)
We all need to develop good habits and simple objectives that bring us easy, small victories in the face of feeling defeated. (Location 2210)
If you’re ruminating about a negative outcome or mistake, take one minute to determine if it was because of a chance result or failure. (Location 2212)
Failure is when you alone are responsible for the outcome—such (Location 2215)
No matter the topic of rumination, the answer is activity. (Location 2231)
The best action strategy in general is having daily mini habits. (Location 2233)
The Work & Play Carousel: Work for an hour, relax for an hour. Repeat. (Location 2237)
Pretend you’re very confident in any situation. You can exaggerate the effect, and you might be surprised how naturally it comes across to others. (Location 2248)
The easiest and most immediate way to become more confident is to change what you’re trying to be confident about. (Location 2252)
The only reason people aren’t confident is because of a preconceived standard about how well they should measure up in an area. (Location 2254)
When you drop that preconceived notion and customize your confidence, you’ll be yourself and naturally exude confidence. (Location 2255)
Perform an act of rebellion against social norms or expectations once per day. (Location 2258)
Decide where to write your accomplishment journal (notepad, computer, cell phone) and write at least one thing you’ve accomplished (or a positive trait you have) once per day until you can’t think of any more. (Location 2268)
People who struggle with Impostor Syndrome are poor at internalizing their accomplishments. Writing them down can help tremendously and make them more tangible in your mind. (Location 2270)
Instead of seeing a situation as going from 1 (poorly) to 10 (perfectly), see situations as 0 (not doing anything) and 1 (doing something). (Location 2276)
Write a story outline (it doesn’t have to be good!) = win. Publish a book = win. Give a speech = win. (Location 2280)
When your day begins, don’t aim for success, aim for progress, and accept it in any size. (Location 2287)
Mentally smash your big goals with a sledgehammer. (Location 2289)
When you’re doubtful of doing something and projecting negative scenarios, write them down in detail. Have a predetermined place to write it down or you won’t do it. (Location 2294)
compare the actual results to your projection. (Location 2295)
once they are all written down, circle one of them as fast as you can, (Location 2303)
Scratch out the others emphatically. Aim for less than 10 seconds to choose. (Location 2304)
Whichever one you circle, commit to doing it that day. (Location 2304)
The more you do this, the more you’ll see and experience that making fast decisions on relatively trivial matters (and sometimes even important ones) is one of the greatest skills a person can have. (Location 2305)
Worst case severity: (Location 2310)
Worst case likelihood: (Location 2312)
Best case benefit: (Location 2313)
Best case likelihood: (Location 2316)
Most likely case: (Location 2317)
You have to have some kind of structured plan to accept and implement new strategies and goals. The first question is: how many goals are you going to pursue at once? (Location 2331)
try to prioritize what matters and then estimate how much you can handle at once. (Location 2334)
we tend to overestimate what we can accomplish consistently, which is why people quit their goals so often. (Location 2335)
no more than four mini habits at a time, (Location 2336)
For most people, two or three mini habits at a time is ideal. (Location 2339)
You know what a perfectionist would try? They’d try to fix everything right now, (Location 2340)
A key part of imperfectionism is patience. (Location 2341)
If you’ve read Mini Habits and you have some mini habits in place, don’t be so eager to add more to your plate. (Location 2342)
Being overwhelmed does not help productivity; simplicity does! (Location 2343)
Project-based Mini Habits (Location 2345)
project-based mini habits are flexible and interchangeable. (Location 2349)
you are more focused on developing sets of related skills that work together instead of developing single habits to improve your life. (Location 2349)
By experimenting, you could find certain techniques to be more effective than others at changing your perfectionism. (Location 2352)
Perfectionism is best conquered with a multifaceted attack. (Location 2353)
he went about the task in an imperfectionist way, because he didn’t try to do them all at once. (Location 2361)
I like to use a giant calendar to track my mini habits. And the way I do it is draw a check mark on each day that I complete them. (Location 2364)
Using project-based mini habits with a physical calendar is easiest. You simply write the mini habits you want to pursue on the day that you start them. (Location 2368)
May 22: Write 50 words toward book, read two pages per day. (Location 2370)
On that day, and every day afterwards (until a change occurs), a check means that you completed those mini habits. (Location 2371)
These three actions would become your new mini habits until changed. (Location 2374)
It greatly decreases the chance for habit formation, but it can develop your skills in a broad category like practicing the numerous ways to become more of an imperfectionist. (Location 2376)
After you publish your book using your 50 words a day mini habit, you can switch to researching one idea or study per day for the next project. (Location 2380)
If you’re a general perfectionist, I recommend spending one week at a time on each of the five subsets and one week on general imperfectionism, making the complete cycle six weeks long. (Location 2385)
Imperfectionists aren’t so ironic as to have perfect lives: they’re just happier, healthier, and more productive at doing what matters. (Location 2392)