The tricky thing is – very few folks are born with this long list of qualities we ask from our leaders, nor do many organizations go out of their way to support said development. (Location 67)
“Your job as a leader is not to lead as an individual, but to foster the environment of co-elevation amongst your team. That’s the key, because your team needs to become co-elevators of each other.” KEITH FERRAZZI (Location 126)
So often, leaders take for granted how they will be perceived, but it is an important question when establishing an intention for the meeting outcome. Why? Because body language sends unspoken cues to the listener, affecting how the listener feels while listening to the message. (Location 171)
Without authority, leaders risk losing stakeholders’ respect and agreement. This is why it’s useful to create an intention and action plan designed to cultivate the leader’s aspiration for how they’d like to be perceived, how the story will be received, and the quality of the relationships they’d like to create with the meeting stakeholders. (Location 177)
Sometimes, this is what happens when leaders address a serious, high-stakes project. They think they need to be “professional,” and too often, “professional” occurs devoid of human expression and authentic personality. (Location 194)
When I connect with the importance of this issue for myself, I feel more engaged, more motivated, and more connected to the group.” (Location 230)
The conviction goes a long way in bridging to the stakeholders, connecting more deeply with them, unlocking their convictions on this subject. It’s also more compelling for them to listen to and come along for the great ride we’re embarking upon. It’s more persuasive, and I’m a more effective leader. (Location 243)
Me: “What I’m hearing you describe as a possible result from a ‘heady’ connection to work and colleagues is more of what we may refer to as a ‘transactional job’ experience where stakeholders are transactionally connected to each other, the company. (Location 260)
But the limits of a transactional way of being in business is that the relationships tend to run shallow and operate out of a defensive posture. We create those five hundred-page contracts for protection, don’t we? And we make absolutely sure that we limit our exposure to risk as much as possible. (Location 267)
Without the deeper roots of human connection, deeper ownership, deeper respect and appreciation, deeper personal passion and creativity – without a deeper relationship to stakeholders, to the project, to the team, to the company – there’s a shallow investment and, according to the laws of cause and effect, a shallow return. (Location 273)
“In strictly transactional relationships, all in all, the individuals, teams, and companies get by but don’t thrive. (Location 275)
What I mostly need to do is stop sounding like a robot reporting data. I lost my humanity there. It’s like I lost myself. I was way too stuck in my head.” (Location 298)
“With deeper ownership and authenticity, and when we really invest and communicate at a deeper level, the relationships become more generative and provide an environment where we can create something concretely powerful with that deeper trust, ownership, and commitment. (Location 320)
May we observe that when it comes to cultivating leadership authority and galvanizing listeners to action, there are five key steps: 1. “Start with assessing your stakeholders, clarifying the desired outcome. 2. “Then, build your narrative to meet them where they are in their present level understanding and then shepherd them to the desired level of acceptance and action. 3. “Consider the non-verbals / body language for enhancing audience engagement and connecting to them more deeply. 4. “Remember the larger goal to nourish the relationships that will deliver the envisioned “outcome and transformation you have presented. 5. “Intend a positive transformation.” (Location 331)
1. “Our brains are wired for survival. 2. “Behavior and communication can send positive or negative messages to the brain. 3. “When the brain interprets stimuli as dangerous, threatening or perceived as undesirable, varying degrees of stress chemicals get sent through the body with a sensation and instruction of warning to leave, become invisible, or argue. Such an environment is not conducive to creativity or high productivity, right? Therefore, it is more difficult to create a meaningful solution to a tough work challenge when we feel afraid or threatened or burnt out! Make sense?” (Location 350)
we can leverage this awareness to deepen your motivation to use engaged eye contact, respectful posture, open facial expression, natural gestures, and an expressive and audible voice accompanied by content whose ideas and language are clear, coherent, inviting, and motivating. (Location 368)
He would tailor each meeting to meet their specific requirements and made sure to follow up after. (Location 384)
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION 1. Where does your passion / purpose intersect with your work? 2. What could be the impact of bringing your authentic passion / purpose to your communication style and relationships at work? 3. How would those relationships enhance your leadership? 4. What strategic planning intentions can accompany a strategic relationship map of the sectors, players, and the ways in which they intersect? 5. What project innovation could occur resulting from your enhanced relationships, leadership impact, strategic intention setting? (Location 404)
“Your vocation occurs where your great passion meets the world’s great need.” FREDERIC BUECHNER (Location 414)
“Rich” is the word I use with friends to describe possibly challenging circumstances that, when framed for learning and growth, shift from awful and hellish to richly meaningful. Again, just ask my friends. (Location 467)
That experience shook me deeply. I recognized in myself then the protective limitations of my mind, heart, and spirit, which shielded me from the darker part of life I was afraid of. (Location 689)
Whatever the students in my classes learned, I learned way more. (Location 784)
I was a member of Marble Collegiate Church at Twenty-Ninth Street and Fifth Avenue in midtown Manhattan. Marble was known for its progressive, non-dogmatic, inquiry-laden spiritual philosophy. I’d been away from institutional church for a few years. Marble’s non-judgmental, no-pressure, safe environment made me feel welcome. And the ministers were sincere seekers, full of love, kindness, and equanimity. I loved the place, the people, and the culture there. It felt like a wonderful spiritual home. (Location 840)
The synchronicity felt strong. (Location 854)
Communication trainings are among the most important, but they’re also the favorite trainings. Why? Participants say they love the classes because they are concretely helpful and fun, focusing on skillful relationship building using leadership content; naturally engaging delivery; polishing interaction with all stakeholders through Socratic inquiry; active listening; building trust; elevating emotional, cultural, social intelligence; and now, neuroscience! (Location 863)
The more skillful we are at clearly stated collaboration, cocreation, forward movement in a heart and brain coherent vision for the positive change we want to make, the better the outcome! (Location 876)
Your real job on earth is to become more of who you really are. (Location 890)
At what point in our personal journeys can we let go of past survival mechanisms which may no longer serve and step into the invitation to our greater service? (Location 959)
So, if we were to explore your life path so far, what if it’s no coincidence that you were born into this body, voice, mind, circumstances at this particular moment in history for the purpose of leading others? And if we acknowledged your gifts to include your entire resplendent self and resounding voice as perfectly designed to serve your greater purpose at this juncture of your life, and if that presupposition were true, then, at this moment, sir, what could be a higher invitation for you as steward of your whole self in service to the highest possible outcome for your life and those around you?” (Location 965)
“Well, respectfully, it’s my job to host deeper conversations about your life purpose, your team’s and your company’s purpose, as it occurs in service to the greater good and how to break through the societal or personal bonds which keep you limited in that service. (Location 972)
When you connect more deeply to who you feel you could be and who you are designed to be, what guidance or nudge might come from that deeper place?” (Location 982)
Now, at this juncture of your life, when you reconnect to the deepest part of yourself, how are you currently being invited to show up as the leader you are meant to be? And what kind of leadership skills are required to fulfill that invitation?” (Location 999)
ironically, they may feel safer because they know I’m not holding anything back. The conversation can go deeper. (Location 1011)
Let’s resist using the communication skills to conceal the true you. (Location 1029)
Under what conditions in your work and life are you tempted to conceal your true self or hide in a smaller version of yourself? (Location 1031)
“I can’t hear what you’re saying because your actions are speaking so loudly!” (Location 1236)
we believe what we see. We believe what the speaker’s body language says before we believe what the words are saying. (Location 1297)
Face-to-Face Delivery • Verbal: 7% • Vocal: 38% • Visual: 55% • Total: 100% Phone or Virtual (Off Camera) • Verbal: 15% • Vocal: 85% • Visual: Not applicable • Total: 100% (Location 1316)
The most important part of what may have been a great presentation gets almost completely lost simply because the leader is not conscious or paying attention to how she/ he/ they are coming across to the audience. (Location 1338)
Please remember that 7% and 15% are only measuring the impact of the verbal content during a distracting presentation delivery. The verbal still remains most important; it just loses its impact. This is why I always ask my leaders, “how do you want to be perceived during the meeting? What words do you want your meeting attendees using to describe your leadership skills and presence in the debrief after the meeting is over?” (Location 1342)
BODY LANGUAGE FOR PROFESSIONALISM AND LEADERSHIP VALUES • Posture: Open, upright, relaxed, balanced over both feet ○ Communicates respect for those in attendance and the environment • Movement: Motivated by eye contact with the audience to fill the space and welcome the meeting attendees with the same naturalness as you might if hosting them in your own home ○ Communicates welcoming inclusion, engagement • Gestures: Relaxed, open, spontaneous, naturally authentic to the leader ○ Communicates authenticity, transparency • Facial expression: Awake, present, warm, welcoming ○ Communicates goodwill, care, respect • Eye contact: Authentically engaged with audience, connected, duration of one thought per person ○ Communicates trust, transparency, interest, genuineness, sincerity • Pause: Honor punctuation for rigorous thinking; no fillers for clear, concise content; add the breath; think in the silence; allow attendees to absorb ○ Communicates coherence • Vocal volume: Easily heard, clear enunciation, comfortable pace ○ Communicates honesty, engagement, generosity, sincerity • Vocal variety: Naturally expressive of authentic human emotion, raising and lowering of tone, personally invested, caring ○ Communicates authenticity, transparency (Location 1354)
Without emotional intelligence, one will miss the unspoken resistance or objection from listeners to agreeing or participating in a given initiative. (Location 1512)
Did you know that one of the energetic foundations of aikido is to “protect your opponent?” Isn’t that interesting? But what are we protecting your opponent from? You protect your opponent from hurting you. (Location 1558)
It is a radically compassionate and creative act to neutralize the attack and shift it away before it can do any damage. That’s the masterful practice of aikido. (Location 1563)
“When you can look into the face of that which you abhor and (sincerely) say, ‘I understand,’ that is when you have reached ‘Christ Consciousness.’” (Location 1577)
“When you can look into the face of that which you abhor and say, ‘I understand,’ you have reached ‘Christ Consciousness.’” JOSEPH CAMPBELL (Location 1622)
When thinking about someone with whom you have a conflict, do your best to “see” clearly without the cloud of projection, which we often bring along in difficult relationships. (Location 1690)
Own your participation in the conflict. Where are you accountable for the pain? (Location 1691)
Dr. Glaser’s research provides compelling data regarding the crucial impact trust carries in organizational culture. In short, high performance is limited in organizations when trust is damaged or missing. The practice of conversational intelligence promises an enriched relational culture within organizations and measurably elevated results. (Location 1758)
As you consider your current life experience, what is the cost of not listening to or honoring your deeper instincts nudging you toward your life’s full expression? (Location 1933)
In particular, meditation and mindfulness practice exist as a foundation for the technique she shared with James. There are four steps: 1) Get quiet in mind and body; connect to an open heart 2) Imagine your goal / aspiration – envision it fulfilled 3) Find the gratitude in advance of the fulfilled vision 4) Take necessary actions to make it happen (Location 1977)
Undetected “Saboteurs” in your mind cause most of your setbacks without your full awareness. (Location 2054)
“Sage wisdom” provides the antidote to the Saboteur energy. By applying sage wisdom in circumstances where our Saboteurs may be getting the best of us, we enjoy greater control over our choices; the quality of our relationships; our interaction with the world; and our experience, impact, and destiny. (Location 2059)
“Nothing’s wasted” in the larger economy of life experience, in my opinion. (Location 2109)
“Remember that your perception of the world is a reflection of your state of consciousness.” ECKHART TOLLE (Location 2132)
“Are you paying attention to your intention?” DEBBIE CRAIG, “CHAPTER 8: ON CONSCIOUSNESS” (Location 2135)
The world needs people who are: 1. Intensely Curious (about themselves, others, and the world) 2. Uniquely Creative (experimenting, learning and willing to fail) 3. Courageously committed (to their vision for self, team or cause) 4. Consciously choosing (where to focus attention and how to show up) 5. Critical Thinkers (who can resolve dilemmas and make meaning out of noise) 6. Trust building Collaborators (who combine perspectives and strengths into lasting relationships and value) 7. Change Navigators (who navigate the maze of change for positive impact) 8. Generous Contributors (who build lasting healthy communities) (Location 2169)
An identity determines the state that you are creating from (Location 2189)
"What is 'transformation literacy? It is the technology for creativity and enabling human awareness…What is lacking now is transformation literacy – the capacity for holding the space for deep dialogue, deep listening to organize systems in a more eco-system way - in a way that creates dialogic functions…making a system see itself. So you might build in mechanisms to build awareness for how we see and sense the solutions. We know what some of the solutions are. The problem is the 'knowing' and 'doing' gap. We know what to do but the action is not moving into the hands. So, what's the missing piece? It's the heart. With the heart, on the level of the collective, it means it requires a social technology – a technology for really activating a more co-creative or more generative social field. The social technology is the core we need to bring into the design of digital technology. Digital tech without the enabling social technologies based on open mind / open heart will be more destructive than creativity-enhancing." A NEW FRONTIER WITH OTTO SCHARMER (Location 2293)
