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Time Anxiety

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Chris Guillebeau

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"Time Anxiety" by Chris Guillebeau explores the concept of time anxiety, distinguishing it from FOMO and ADHD. It emphasizes the need for acceptance of time's limitations, offers strategies for managing overwhelm, and suggests prioritizing personal joy over obligations to combat anxiety and enhance productivity.

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Time Anxiety

Chris Guillebeau

Time Anxiety

Markeren(Geel) - Pagina xi · Locatie 150

Time Anxiety Is More than FOMO and Different From ADHD The experiences I’m describing are sometimes labeled as FOMO (the fear of missing out), but time anxiety is different. FOMO is focused on the present (“ something is happening without me”), whereas time anxiety connects to all three dimensions: the past, present, and future. You feel regretful about the past, uncertain or hesitant about the present, and apprehensive of the future. Past: I wish I’d done things differently. Present: I don’t know what to do right now. Future: I’m worried about what will happen in the days and years to come. Time anxiety can overlap with neurodivergent conditions like ADHD or autism spectrum disorder, but it also stands on its own. You can be neurotypical (someone with normal brain development) and still struggle with the fear of running out of time, as well as the angst over how to spend it. Alternatively, you can have ADHD, autism, or another condition and find that time anxiety acts as an amplifier of your other behaviors. Regardless of any specific diagnosis, the struggle with time anxiety deeply affects your ability to plan and complete simple tasks. It leads you to get stuck for hours or days at a time, to under-or overestimate how much time something will take, and to chronically avoid unpleasant situations—even when taking just a few minutes to focus on them would provide immediate relief.

Markeren(Geel) - Pagina xii · Locatie 166

Time anxiety produces a recurring sense of discontent. It’s an undercurrent that tells you something isn’t right.

Markeren(Geel) - Pagina xv · Locatie 204

It turned out I wasn’t brilliant or stupid; I’d simply fallen into the trap of believing I could do everything. I’d also based my self-esteem and perceived status on what other people thought of me, another classic error that can only lead to misery.

Markeren(Geel) - Pagina xvii · Locatie 231

One more thing: even though most productivity methods can do more harm than good, some are helpful when used in the right contexts. By learning a few simple, counterintuitive strategies, you’ll likely end up accomplishing more than you did before. This is a by-product of reducing time anxiety, not the main goal—but if you want to be more effective, accomplishing more should happen naturally along the way.

Part 1: Breaking the Stress Cycle

Markeren(Geel) - Pagina 1 · Locatie 251

Breaking the Stress Cycle You have the power to overcome time anxiety by challenging the thoughts that keep you trapped. Imagine mastering the moment, discerning what’s truly urgent, and accepting the natural limits of time.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 3 · Locatie 256

Start by Giving Yourself More Time Before you can make big decisions about your life, you need to reduce the immediate pressure you feel.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 4 · Locatie 273

You would not tell a person experiencing a panic attack that they need to get to work on filing their taxes, break up with their boyfriend, and mail off an overdue rent check. Perhaps they need to do all of those things eventually, but they first need to deal with what feels like an emergency. (And simply telling them to “calm down” probably won’t help much.) They need to learn to address their breathing, lower their heart rate, and understand that even though what they are feeling seems overwhelming, it will get better.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 5 · Locatie 282

When you’re struggling with time anxiety, you need to deal with the immediate symptoms first. One of the reasons why you experience distress is because you perceive a time shortage in your life. Therefore, let’s help you achieve a time surplus, where more time is available to you, even in the midst of a busy life. I’ll show you some strategies for this in the chapters that follow, including: When to do things poorly (Not everything needs to be done with excellence or even done well.) Why not finishing things is perfectly acceptable (Many things can be left undone, often permanently.) How to decide “What is enough?” for any type of project or creative work, so that you always have an end point in mind

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 6 · Locatie 298

Go through your schedule and ask, “Do I need to do this thing? Is it serving a purpose in my life? Do I still want to do it?” See what you can remove, and notice how it feels to reclaim that time as a gift to yourself. It’s an easy but powerful way to multiply the time that’s available to you in the near future. ACTION: Can you clear at least two items from your calendar for the next week?

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 7 · Locatie 310

ACTION: Think through all the different ways that people can get your attention. Can you turn off at least one of these inboxes?

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 7 · Locatie 315

One way or another, start resisting the expectation that your attention span is up for grabs. It shouldn’t be—it belongs to you, after all.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 8 · Locatie 327

Even if it’s just an extra twenty minutes that you gain, spend this time however you’d like. Don’t automatically assign it to the types of tasks you were doing before you started thinking like this. Use some of it for activities that feel joyful, refreshing, and stimulating. This time belongs to you.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 1: Start by Giving Yourself More Time > Pagina 9 · Locatie 338

It might be true that your brain operates differently from other people’s—but even if you’re neurodivergent, this doesn’t mean you are destined to always have the problems you’re experiencing now.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 11 · Locatie 359

Overcome Overwhelm by Starting Simply

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 11 · Locatie 362

When we’re overwhelmed, we sometimes freeze and are unable to do much of anything that addresses the problem. We might run or avoid the problem for as long as possible, even with the knowledge that this effort may eventually backfire. Or, as noted, we simply sit back and do nothing. To others, this behavior can look like laziness, or even stupidity. (Maybe we’ve thought this way about someone else, too. Why on earth can’t that person make simple progress? The answer is: they would if they knew how.)

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 11 · Locatie 366

The next time you feel overwhelmed, try this: Calm your nervous system. Take three deep breaths, holding them for a few seconds each before releasing. This helps activate your body’s relaxation response. Next, ground yourself by noticing five things in your environment that you can see, helping to bring your focus to the present.[*] Reject or reframe catastrophic thinking. Just as you can learn to rethink the idea of excellence (not everything has to be amazing; some things are just fine being good enough), you can rethink the idea that you’re in the midst of a huge disaster. You’re just overwhelmed—it happens! You’ve been here before, and you made it through. Pick one thing you can do, and then do it. Just one thing! If you need to answer an email, open it and type the first sentence, which is often something simple and low-energy (“ Hi there” or “Thanks for the message”).

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 2: Cognitive Distortions > Pagina 16 · Locatie 407

There are different types of cognitive distortions, including: Overgeneralization: Seeing one bad outcome as a never-ending pattern of failure Black-and-white thinking: Viewing situations in extreme, either/ or terms, with no middle ground Filtering: Focusing only on the negative details of a situation while ignoring the positive aspects Personalization: Thinking everything bad that happens is directly your fault

Bladwijzer - Chapter 2: Cognitive Distortions > Pagina 18 · Locatie 436

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 2: Cognitive Distortions > Pagina 18 · Locatie 436

When we believe we’re fundamentally flawed or permanently “behind,” we’re more likely to: Overcommit while trying to prove our worth to others Procrastinate on important tasks and goals, having already decided in our minds that we’re going to fail Neglect self-care, believing we don’t deserve rest or relaxation until we’ve “caught up”

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 2: Cognitive Distortions > Pagina 19 · Locatie 441

Many of the strategies you’ll learn in this book will help you mitigate the effects of cognitive distortions, especially as they relate to the fear of running out of time. For example, you’ll be able to do better work if you combine sessions of hyperfocus with sessions of recovery. You’ll be able to keep better track of time by making it visual, such as by keeping a colorful timer on your desk.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 2: Cognitive Distortions > Pagina 20 · Locatie 455

Losing your job, while stressful, is sometimes the best thing to happen to many people who go on to do something else much more worthwhile.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 22 · Locatie 481

By challenging and countering your irrational thoughts, you can reduce their impact and begin to think in a more realistic way. This practice helps diminish time anxiety and supports a healthier, more positive mindset.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 3: Time Blindness Hinders Your Sense of Time > Pagina 24 · Locatie 489

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 3: Time Blindness Hinders Your Sense of Time > Pagina 27 · Locatie 515

The more time blindness you have, the more time anxiety you will experience.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 3: Time Blindness Hinders Your Sense of Time > Pagina 29 · Locatie 542

Create playlists of a certain length for different activities (for example, a thirty-minute playlist for a workout, or a fifteen-minute playlist for morning preparation). The end of the playlist serves as an auditory cue that time is up.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 3: Time Blindness Hinders Your Sense of Time > Pagina 30 · Locatie 552

Notice “time sucks”—the activities that you chronically underestimate and always end up taking lots of time.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 3: Time Blindness Hinders Your Sense of Time > Pagina 31 · Locatie 571

One trick here is when you catch yourself thinking, “Ugh, this will take ages,” that’s your cue to challenge the thought. Maybe give that dreaded task a go and see how long it really takes.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 3: Time Blindness Hinders Your Sense of Time > Pagina 32 · Locatie 576

Finally, one more recommendation that I’ll return to throughout the book: whatever you’re doing, do one thing at a time. Do it with intention and purpose before turning to something else.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 33 · Locatie 582

Allow More Time than You Think You Need Leave ten to fifteen minutes earlier for every appointment.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 4: Unlearning > Pagina 37 · Locatie 621

Simply making a list of your top priorities does not get you very far. Inevitably, you end up back where you started: trying to determine how to “fit it all in” and wondering if you’re really working on the right things to start with.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 4: Unlearning > Pagina 38 · Locatie 636

When you’re too busy to think about your life, you’re able to put off proactive decisions under the guise of responding to what seems urgent.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 4: Unlearning > Pagina 38 · Locatie 644

What you call being lazy is also a strategy of learned helplessness. This is a psychological condition where an individual feels powerless to change their situation due to repeated exposure to unpleasant events. Simply put, when you don’t feel like you’re in control of something, you stop trying to change the situation—even when change is possible.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 4: Unlearning > Pagina 40 · Locatie 664

If you’re a high achiever who likes to be productive, you try to work harder. If you’re more laid-back, relaxed, or spiritual, you tend to stop trying and opt out. If you tend to avoid difficult situations, you’ll procrastinate or divert your attention. If your instinct is to freeze, that’s what you’ll do—and then overthink without taking action. If you’re a people pleaser, you’ll continue to prioritize others’ time over your own.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 44 · Locatie 706

In the past week, how many times did you say yes to something when you really wanted to say no?

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 44 · Locatie 708

Think about a recent instance when you chose to do a less urgent task (like organizing your closet) over a more important one (like making a doctor’s appointment).

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 44 · Locatie 711

Are there any recurring tasks in your life that you spend far more time on than necessary?

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 5: Time Rules Exist to Serve You (You Don’t Exist to Serve Time Rules) > Pagina 49 · Locatie 752

For example, if you have a personal rule of “I must always see a project through to completion,” you might reframe it as “I will give myself permission to reassess and adjust my commitments as needed.”

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 5: Time Rules Exist to Serve You (You Don’t Exist to Serve Time Rules) > Pagina 50 · Locatie 768

Time rules exist to serve you. You don’t exist to serve time rules.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 5: Time Rules Exist to Serve You (You Don’t Exist to Serve Time Rules) > Pagina 50 · Locatie 773

Decide in advance how you’ll spend most of your time at work.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 5: Time Rules Exist to Serve You (You Don’t Exist to Serve Time Rules) > Pagina 51 · Locatie 775

Go for a walk for at least fifteen minutes first thing in the morning.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 5: Time Rules Exist to Serve You (You Don’t Exist to Serve Time Rules) > Pagina 51 · Locatie 777

Decide on certain times a day for checking and responding to messages,

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 5: Time Rules Exist to Serve You (You Don’t Exist to Serve Time Rules) > Pagina 51 · Locatie 778

Establish clear boundaries for transitions,

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 5: Time Rules Exist to Serve You (You Don’t Exist to Serve Time Rules) > Pagina 51 · Locatie 781

Many time rules work well with habit stacking, a concept that suggests we are more likely to form lasting habits if they build upon one other.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 58 · Locatie 839

When You’re Drowning, You Can’t Just Swim Faster

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 59 · Locatie 858

Whatever process you choose, GTD and other productivity methods suggest you are capable of handling everything that comes your way, if only you’d improve your work habits.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 59 · Locatie 862

Consider the ultimate outcome of living life fully by the rules of this operating system. Under these conditions, the best possible scenario is that you will become a highly functional manager of someone else’s dreams and goals.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 60 · Locatie 875

If you have email anxiety around opening and reading the messages (this happens to me a lot), understand that your feelings won’t simply get better with the passing of time. It’s usually better to face this head-on and spend a few minutes deciding on a next step—like a quick response acknowledging receipt, for example.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 62 · Locatie 899

I became one of the people who didn’t pretend to be so responsive. Every January, I instituted a new “email bankruptcy” practice, where I simply archived everything I’d missed from the previous year.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 63 · Locatie 910

After hiding from my inboxes day in and day out, I decided to turn them into a ritual. The ritual was to do what I can, for a certain amount of time, and not worry (as much) about the rest.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 63 · Locatie 912

Approaching your inbox is as simple as that. Just set a timer for twenty minutes and do what you can. Are you behind on a bunch of messages? Pick the most urgent and respond until the time’s up. Do you need to draft notes for a presentation? Start writing! It’s like the Pomodoro Technique, except you track your progress not by what remains (the ocean never dries up!) but by what you’re able to do. That point bears restating: when the time is up, you celebrate what you’ve done, instead of dwelling on what remains.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 6: The Inbox of Shame > Pagina 64 · Locatie 919

Where possible, prioritize these items: Anything that’s urgent or extremely important[*] Something that truly helps someone, even in a small way Something that makes you feel good Something that’s proactive, not just responsive

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 7: The Magical Thinking of Time Management > Pagina 68 · Locatie 964

Time management is a powerful story built on an entirely false premise.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 7: The Magical Thinking of Time Management > Pagina 69 · Locatie 974

The myth you have been told is that you can manage time.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 7: The Magical Thinking of Time Management > Pagina 69 · Locatie 980

Time exists independently of us and does not like to be told what to do. Time passes when you sleep, when you procrastinate, when you worry about time running out, or when you’re having the time of your life. In all these situations (and every other), time marches on.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 7: The Magical Thinking of Time Management > Pagina 70 · Locatie 990

Time management does not deal with time anxiety, the feeling of being crushed by the scarcity of time and the inevitability of things ending.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 7: The Magical Thinking of Time Management > Pagina 71 · Locatie 1010

In its simplest phrasing, radical acceptance is a formula: pain + resistance equals suffering. It assumes that in every life, some amount of pain is unavoidable. Suffering, however, comes from trying to fight against this unavoidable pain.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 7: The Magical Thinking of Time Management > Pagina 72 · Locatie 1014

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 76 · Locatie 1063

The Reverse Bucket List Make a list of the amazing things you’ve already done.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 8: What Is Enough? > Pagina 78 · Locatie 1083

What Is Enough? Decide on a logical finish line for projects and daily work.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 8: What Is Enough? > Pagina 80 · Locatie 1106

I love working on my own, but when the work never ends, I tend to get overwhelmed and anxious. Instead of feeling proud of what I’d been able to do in one day, I always focused on what was undone. There’s an obvious solution here: if milestones and end points don’t exist, make them. Ask yourself: What is enough for today? What is enough for this project? What is enough to fulfill the commitment I make to my job? Once you reach “enough,” pause before continuing.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 8: What Is Enough? > Pagina 81 · Locatie 1124

The best part about the Pomodoro Technique, properly applied, isn’t that it puts you to work but that it limits your work. The break between sessions is a key feature.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 8: What Is Enough? > Pagina 81 · Locatie 1130

Did I create something? Did I help someone? Did I take some amount of time for myself?

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 8: What Is Enough? > Pagina 82 · Locatie 1136

When work is potentially endless, decide for yourself what the end points will be. You can always add something to these end points later if you want, but the sense of completion and accomplishment will help you feel better.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 83 · Locatie 1140

Free Time in the Middle of the Day Don’t save all your “fun” time for evenings and weekends.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 9: Do Things Poorly > Pagina 85 · Locatie 1152

Do Things Poorly Overwrite the idea that everything you do must be excellent. Many things are perfectly fine if they’re “good enough.”

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 9: Do Things Poorly > Pagina 84 · Locatie 1156

It’s the idea that you should always do your best work. Let’s challenge that belief. For a number of reasons, sometimes it’s better to do significantly less than your best work. Instead of pursuing perfection, or even “excellence,” your life can be much better if you instead do things poorly.

Markeren(Geel) - Interlude > Pagina 94 · Locatie 1274

I continued to dwell on the simple truth illustrated so well by the figs on the tree: time is limited, but desire is limitless. These facts will always be in conflict. Simply put, there was more that I wanted to do than I’d ever be able to do.

Part 2: Rewriting Time Rules

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 10: Our Perception of Time Changes as We Age > Pagina 97 · Locatie 1289

Our Perception of Time Changes as We Age How we respond to time anxiety is connected to our perception of time’s passing. When we perceive a “time shortage,” we become unsettled.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 10: Our Perception of Time Changes as We Age > Pagina 99 · Locatie 1318

One common cause of time shortages is when we try to pack too much into a short amount of time, like a single day. When we do this, we inevitably encounter the reality that our plans were too ambitious, and then we feel unsettled.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 10: Our Perception of Time Changes as We Age > Pagina 100 · Locatie 1333

When we feel rushed, it’s hard to function well in the moment. It’s also difficult to plan for a different future.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 10: Our Perception of Time Changes as We Age > Pagina 100 · Locatie 1335

How we plan our days is how we live our lives.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 101 · Locatie 1340

Create a “Time-Free” Zone Set aside a dedicated hour to engage in joyful activities without worrying about time.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 102 · Locatie 1356

Engage fully in your chosen activities without worrying about productivity or deadlines. Allow yourself to be fully present in the moment.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 11: Use Rules of Engagement to Decide between Competing Requests > Pagina 105 · Locatie 1366

Use Rules of Engagement to Decide Between Competing Requests Set up default decisions that help you navigate the conflicts and busyness of life.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 11: Use Rules of Engagement to Decide between Competing Requests > Pagina 104 · Locatie 1374

To contain the overwhelm, I encourage you to use a concept called rules of engagement, or ROEs. These are guideposts that help you navigate decisions in the thick of the action. The concept comes from military practice, where battlefield commanders have to make quick, life-or-death decisions. For example, commanders are supposed to respond with proportionality when their troops are attacked. If a unit is under fire by a sniper holed up in a village, they can’t drop a thousand-pound bomb on the whole village to eliminate the threat. They’re supposed to find a way to respond discriminately, targeting only the sniper and any other combatants in the area.

Notitie - Chapter 11: Use Rules of Engagement to Decide between Competing Requests > Pagina 106 · Locatie 1379

ROEs

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 11: Use Rules of Engagement to Decide between Competing Requests > Pagina 107 · Locatie 1400

Setting a boundary for creative work: Whenever possible, I schedule meetings for after lunch instead of the morning.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 11: Use Rules of Engagement to Decide between Competing Requests > Pagina 108 · Locatie 1403

Limiting clients as a freelancer: As a freelancer, I work with a set number of clients at one time. If someone wants to hire me when I’m fully booked, I offer to put them on a waiting list. I learned the hard way that overcommitting myself doesn’t help anyone.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 11: Use Rules of Engagement to Decide between Competing Requests > Pagina 108 · Locatie 1415

Something I’ve learned is that before any meeting where I might need to speak, I completely block out at least fifteen minutes in which I do nothing.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 112 · Locatie 1449

For most of us, only a few things every day are truly urgent. Learn to separate real deadlines from imaginary ones.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 12: Be Right Back, I’m Just Going to Disappear and Never Return > Pagina 121 · Locatie 1533

Staying busy is one of the best ways to put off something else that you should be doing. If you’re too busy to think, you’re less anxious!

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 12: Be Right Back, I’m Just Going to Disappear and Never Return > Pagina 124 · Locatie 1569

But deliberately avoiding something you really need to do has a cost. It will drain your energy even when you think you aren’t thinking about it. Real, lasting relief lies on the other side of avoidance. Identify things you’re putting off indefinitely, push through or take them off your list entirely, and feel better.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 125 · Locatie 1581

What do you do when you’re avoiding several things at once? Simple: you make a to-dread list.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 13: Move on Quickly > Pagina 128 · Locatie 1614

I call these unhelpful thought patterns friction loops. When I’m slow in making decisions or completing simple tasks, part of what happens is that a loop builds up.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 13: Move on Quickly > Pagina 130 · Locatie 1651

You might know that context-switching, sometimes called multitasking, is unhelpful and comes at a cost. This is true! But it’s not just context-switching—it’s failing to complete a task before making the switch. When you finish something (even something very small or simple), you can feel much better. Accomplishing simple tasks repeatedly moves you away from a friction loop and toward its logical opposite: ease loops.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 13: Move on Quickly > Pagina 132 · Locatie 1677

Friction comes from trying to map the entire path. Ease is taking one step at a time. Ask yourself, “What’s one small action I can take to move forward?” then do that action. Doing so puts you back on an ease track.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 14: Not Finishing Things Is One of the Great Joys of Life > Pagina 136 · Locatie 1703

Not Finishing Things Is One of the Great Joys of Life To save time and feel greatly relieved, stop trying to finish everything.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 140 · Locatie 1748

Walk Away Now Abandon activities that you don’t enjoy, and leave early from engagements that no longer serve you.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 15: Knitting Is Good for You > Pagina 142 · Locatie 1764

Knitting Is Good for You Cozy hobbies like knitting, crafting, and playing board games can lower your anxiety and increase your attention span.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 15: Knitting Is Good for You > Pagina 143 · Locatie 1774

Feeling flustered? Perhaps you should try knitting—or at least some sort of tactile, analog craft that can be easily started and stopped whenever you need.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 15: Knitting Is Good for You > Pagina 143 · Locatie 1784

A story in The New York Times referred to two recent studies that found hobbies such as knitting, gardening, and coloring were associated with cognitive improvements related to both memory and attention—and a reduction in symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 15: Knitting Is Good for You > Pagina 144 · Locatie 1796

Another fun thing about most granny hobbies is that you can do them on your own or with others. There are benefits both ways. If you’re seeking companionship—perhaps with like-minded people who are also interested in putting down their phones for a while—look for a group organized around one of the crafts.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 15: Knitting Is Good for You > Pagina 145 · Locatie 1804

Book clubs aren’t really about the book, and knitting groups aren’t just about knitting.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 152 · Locatie 1858

As you might guess from the name, the hyperfocus-burnout cycle consists of two elements, hyperfocus and burnout. Hyperfocus: Deep, prolonged attention on a task, which sometimes leads to you losing track of time Burnout: A state of exhaustion from chronic stress, which reduces your motivation and productivity

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 153 · Locatie 1871

A better way is simply to understand the cycle and learn to replace burnout with rest. The mistake is to assume you can constantly hyperfocus. That’s not possible—so instead, you need to allow for periods of rest in between periods of intense hyperfocus. To learn how to do that, consider the model of a traffic light’s colors.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 153 · Locatie 1873

The Traffic Light Strategy When you draw on your hyperfocus powers—with the awareness that using them will also tire you out sooner or later—picture a traffic light system. You’ve got three “zones” to operate in. Green: You’re in a state of flow or hyperfocus, working efficiently and effectively. You’re energized, engaged, and productive, similar to a green light indicating it’s safe to go. When you’re in this zone—live it up! Just be mindful of distractions, because you can easily end up hyperfocusing on something less helpful or useful. Yellow: You’re approaching a danger zone. While you’re able to complete some tasks, you might be neglecting signs of fatigue or overwork. The yellow zone is a warning to slow down, take breaks, and reassess your workload to prevent slipping into the red zone. Easy does it. Red: You’ve hit your limit. Productivity declines as exhaustion, both physical and mental, takes over. Like a red traffic light, this zone indicates a stop: you need to rest, recover, and reevaluate before returning to the green zone. Trying to work intensely during red-zone times is counterproductive.

Notitie - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 154 · Locatie 1886

Counterproductive

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 155 · Locatie 1895

Your energy level is determined by biological factors including hormones, nutrition, and age. For all these reasons and more, judging yourself on a day-to-day basis is unhelpful.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 155 · Locatie 1902

In addition, looking at longer cycles of time is helpful for something else. As an ADHD coach explained to me, one of her big goals is to help people allow themselves to rest on those red or yellow days. They feel like they “can’t” or “shouldn’t” rest—but if they zoom out and see how productive they are on the green days, they’re more likely to give themselves permission.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 156 · Locatie 1906

Rest Will Come Whether You Want It Or Not Rest periods away from hyperfocus mode are not optional. Your body needs rest, so it will take it one way or another—but rest is also a lot like sleep itself. You have to sleep, like it or not, but there are ways to sleep better.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 156 · Locatie 1913

When you feel anxious about time, you tend to restrict yourself from rest.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 157 · Locatie 1927

Getting back to hyperfocus and burnout: here’s what to do on your yellow-light days. 1. Lower the goal of output. If you can’t take it easy on a yellow day, at least take it easier.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 16: The Traffic Light Model of Focus and Fatigue > Pagina 158 · Locatie 1932

Work on something else! You might be able to get a full green-light day’s worth of cognitive effort on a yellow-light day if you work on something different than what you’ve been doing. Yellow-light days can be great for side hustles or other unrelated projects.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 160 · Locatie 1964

In the midst of a busy day, or when you’re feeling overwhelmed with a bunch of things being thrown at you all at once, simply pause for a moment. Take a few deep breaths. Then, ask yourself: What matters to me right now? Your answer should be fairly intuitive (you’ll know it when you think about it), but allow thirty seconds to pass as you fully reflect on the question.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 17: A Light Schedule Is Sometimes Harder than a Full One > Pagina 162 · Locatie 1991

In the book Daily Rituals, Mason Currey documented the life and work patterns of famous people, including Mozart, Beethoven, Tolstoy, and many others. One of the biggest takeaways from Currey’s research was that most people are able to do no more than three to four hours of focused work per day.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 17: A Light Schedule Is Sometimes Harder than a Full One > Pagina 163 · Locatie 1996

Beethoven worked much the same way, rising at 6: 00 a.m. and counting out exactly sixty beans for his morning coffee—perhaps a sign of great attention to detail. After a work session in a spartan office (no distractions!), he took off for lunch and an extended walk in the Viennese woods. Though he returned to work for editing after the break, he viewed the long interruption as essential to his process.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 17: A Light Schedule Is Sometimes Harder than a Full One > Pagina 164 · Locatie 2010

The ability to concentrate comes with a built-in limitation. You can still do things throughout a full work day, but if you want to be effective, you need to intersperse those concentrated tasks with different things.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 17: A Light Schedule Is Sometimes Harder than a Full One > Pagina 166 · Locatie 2035

When you have clear constraints, you tend to eliminate a lot of superfluous activities.

Markeren(Geel) - Interlude > Pagina 171 · Locatie 2096

Perhaps there is one thing you can offer: most of the people you know who are more productive than you are also pretty stressed out.

Markeren(Geel) - Interlude > Pagina 172 · Locatie 2112

Carl Jung said that everyone has a shadow. The less your shadow is integrated within yourself—and the more you try to hide it—the darker it becomes.

Notitie - Interlude > Pagina 172 · Locatie 2113

Schaduwzijde van het boek

Markeren(Geel) - Interlude > Pagina 173 · Locatie 2127

An endless side note to the core question. Question: How will you choose to spend your time?

Part 3: Owning Your Time

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 18: The Movie of Your Life > Pagina 177 · Locatie 2148

If your life was a movie and you were the director, what scenes would you add to it?

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 18: The Movie of Your Life > Pagina 177 · Locatie 2152

Good film editors know that every scene exists for a reason.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 18: The Movie of Your Life > Pagina 180 · Locatie 2192

And yet it wasn’t that difficult. The hardest thing was simply deciding to do it.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 18: The Movie of Your Life > Pagina 181 · Locatie 2197

Remember, some scenes of your life’s movie have already been filmed. Many more, however, await production.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 19: The Real Problem Is We’re Going to Die > Pagina 187 · Locatie 2272

The root cause of time anxiety isn’t that we haven’t planned our day well or spent enough time with a vision board. It’s that no matter what we do, ultimately we will run out of time.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 19: The Real Problem Is We’re Going to Die > Pagina 194 · Locatie 2363

One of the causes of time anxiety is an attempt to manage all the things that weigh on our mind, both consciously and subconsciously. Contrary to much productivity advice, the solution isn’t only to write down the things that need our response and add them to a task list. (If you’ve experienced major trauma in your life, just imagine how ludicrous it would be to put “Resolve trauma” on your list of to-dos. If only it were so simple!) For an alternative strategy, try filtering every decision about spending time with a person or situation through the lens of closer or further. It’s somewhat similar to asking, “What do I want more of and less of?”

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 21: How We Respond to Regret Is More Important than Avoiding It > Pagina 210 · Locatie 2554

Drawing on the emotion to think about the future and make active choices was helpful. Dwelling on the emotion for events in the past, however, was disturbing. This obsession affected my relationships, my work, and even my health.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 21: How We Respond to Regret Is More Important than Avoiding It > Pagina 211 · Locatie 2560

Regret is another form of loss, just as all life ultimately leads to an end.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 214 · Locatie 2603

When faced with a choice, ask yourself: How will I feel about this decision ten years from now?

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 215 · Locatie 2611

One thing you can do to help you decide is: focus on what feels right for the next step.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 23: Planning for a Year Is Easier than Planning for a Day > Pagina 223 · Locatie 2695

All too often, I try to cram too many things on a single day’s to-do list, only to fail at completing any important items at all.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 23: Planning for a Year Is Easier than Planning for a Day > Pagina 226 · Locatie 2735

The dreamers suffer from big ideas that seldom come to fruition.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 23: Planning for a Year Is Easier than Planning for a Day > Pagina 226 · Locatie 2738

The do-ers tend to be very good at doing the wrong things.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 23: Planning for a Year Is Easier than Planning for a Day > Pagina 227 · Locatie 2750

and doing” combo is one of the exceptions. You simply

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 25: Pay Yourself First > Pagina 239 · Locatie 2864

As I’ve said, I didn’t write this book out of academic interest. I wrote it because I was struggling with my difficulty in coming to terms with time. If affected my life almost every day.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 25: Pay Yourself First > Pagina 240 · Locatie 2873

After twenty-five years of working for myself, I had to learn it was okay to do something that had no connection to output or a work product.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 25: Pay Yourself First > Pagina 240 · Locatie 2876

Pay yourself first. Use the personal-finance idea and plan your days more around what you like to do and less around your obligations.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 25: Pay Yourself First > Pagina 243 · Locatie 2917

Time anxiety often comes from feeling like we’re not doing enough—but paradoxically, doing more of what we enjoy can be the cure. Give yourself permission to prioritize fun and watch how it changes your entire outlook on time.

Markeren(Geel) - Practice > Pagina 244 · Locatie 2922

The Two-Adventure Weekend Plan one big activity and one mini-adventure for an upcoming weekend.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 26: Instead of Leaving a Legacy, Learn to Live Well > Pagina 247 · Locatie 2942

Instead of Leaving a Legacy, Learn to Live Well

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 26: Instead of Leaving a Legacy, Learn to Live Well > Pagina 246 · Locatie 2946

I wanted to be someone, to build something. I connected this motivator with a means of production: if only I wrote enough books, produced events for enough people, started enough projects… then, well, I’m not sure what I thought would happen.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 26: Instead of Leaving a Legacy, Learn to Live Well > Pagina 248 · Locatie 2963

The pressure that we somehow “must” use every minute well creates an impossible goal, an endpoint that sets us up for repeated failure. What if we don’t use every minute to its utmost potential? Surely the world won’t come to a stop, because ultimately our part in it isn’t that important.

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 26: Instead of Leaving a Legacy, Learn to Live Well > Pagina 249 · Locatie 2975

Maybe this is where the legacy part comes from: not what you build or leave behind, but simply the logical result of a life well lived, one that is generous and kind and helpful and without continuously deferring your own dreams. One that practices setting boundaries, both out of respect for others and for yourself. Living well is a virtuous goal. Best of all, it’s achievable—it’s something we can do. As little control as we have—we can do this!

Markeren(Geel) - Chapter 26: Instead of Leaving a Legacy, Learn to Live Well > Pagina 250 · Locatie 2984

As I come to the end of the book, I’m not going to tell you that I’ve solved everything that was troubling me. Even as I wrote these chapters, I struggled. Some days I drank more coffee than was good for me. I felt the pressure of finishing a book that was about the pressure of finishing. My inbox management is somewhat better now that it was before, though it’s far from perfect and probably always will be. I’m sorry if you’ve written to me and I haven’t replied. It’s me, not you. But I wanted to write a book that would change me, in addition to (hopefully) being helpful to others.

Notitie - Chapter 26: Instead of Leaving a Legacy, Learn to Live Well > Pagina 250 · Locatie 2989

Change me

Manifesto

Markeren(Geel) - Pagina 257 · Locatie 3058

Manifesto Leave ten minutes earlier than you think you need for every appointment. Learn to discern between real and imagined deadlines by asking, “Can this wait?” Create a reverse bucket list to celebrate past achievements instead of fixating on future goals. Use “time decluttering” to remove unnecessary commitments from your schedule. Practice the art of no-guilt communication with friends to maintain relationships without pressure. It’s impossible to keep up with everything, so avoid the temptation to try. We overestimate what we can accomplish in a day, and underestimate what can happen in a year. Not everything you start needs to be finished. No one ever says, “I wish I’d made that change later.” To live better, think about death every day.

Bladwijzer - Pagina 257 · Locatie 3058